Did you know that I have been to the Grand Canyon, once? Yes, last Summer, I took my 3 kids and my niece, Kailey, to this national landmark, with my brother, Jared, and his family. This picture pretty much says it all: Emma and I were in awe of its greatness, Sasha couldn't have cared less about it, and Shelton absolutely hated it.
Honestly, I didn't really know what to expect with this little side trip on our journey from Colorado to California. My only experience with The Grand Canyon, previously, was via The Brady Bunch episode in which the family takes a family vacation there, riding donkeys down to the canyon, and experiencing all sorts of wilderness adventures. I think that is what I expected it to be like: very rustic and wild. I envisioned us driving up to a view spot, parking our car, and looking at the canyon for a few minutes. I had no idea that it would take us an hour to drive into the park, and then another hour to get through the park entrance line and then make it to the parking lot. I did not picture bumper-to-bumper traffic and an elaborate busing system to view the canyon from a dozen or more view points. I did not realize that after driving and waiting for so long, I would actually be tempted to stay on the bus instead of getting out to see what I came there to see. But by golly, it was HOT and we were hungry, tired, and thirsty by the time we waited through the bus line for 45 minutes. I usually don't like to make a scene in public places, but I actually told some people where to go when they unknowingly attempted to cut in front of us in the line (don't jump to conclusions, I mean, the end of the line!)
Jared was in charge of our trip, thankfully, and he told us which spots we would be getting off at. There we were, finally on an air-conditioned bus, all sitting together in the back, with what I thought was a decent view of the Grand Canyon. It was very difficult for me to round up the kids and get off to walk down an unknown trail, but I put on my "everything's OK" Mom face, and marched on with the kids in tow. It was beautiful, majestic, awe inspiring, amazingly great... everything one would expect. Unfortunately, I did not get to enjoy it because Shelton began his incessant whining the minute we got off the bus. Seriously, he would not stop. It was super annoying, even to me, and I'm his Mom that loves him unconditionally. Jared, Casey, and the kids tried not to let on, but they were bugged as well. Strangers (most without any children in tow, mind you) would stare at him irritatedly, and a few times it actually scored us a better spot next to the fence-line, as they scurried away from our large (but small) group. Jared and Casey's younger kids were fine as long as they were being carried by their exhausted parents, and the other kids just enjoyed the chance to run free and look over the canyon rim. I got to be buddies with Shelton (lucky me!) and was privileged to be within earshot of his canyon commentary, as I like to refer to it: "I HATE the Grand Canyon!", "I don't WANT to look at The Grand Canyon!", "I want to go to the CAR!!!" & my personal favorite, "The Grand Canyon is UGLY!"
Each time we finished looking at a view point, we would hurry to the bus stop, wait in line, and then cram our group onto the bus (never seated together, sometimes standing) and try to avoid the stares. At last, we made it to the top, the last stop, and realized that THIS was the only stop we should have taken at all! (My first instinct to stay on the bus was RIGHT ON!) It had a bathroom, gift shop, food and beverages for sale, and a fantastic view of The Grand Canyon. Instead of enjoying these luxuries, we opted to wait on the bus, despite it not being turned on and air-conditioned, to keep our highly coveted, good seats, all together. At this point, Shelton was not the only grouchy kid, and thanks to his behavior over the past few hours, the adult were just as bad. The only ones that seemed completely oblivious to our plight were Emma, Kailey, and Madison, who were in good spirits, and truly enjoying themselves. I'm so thankful for this, as it meant that our suffering was not in vain! Shelton continued with his canyon commentary while we waited to head back down on one last bus ride. With sweat dripping down my face onto my empty water bottle, I thought to myself, "It doesn't get much worse than this!"
When the bus driver (FINALLY) came back, and people began to board the bus, I felt a huge wave of relief sweep over me. Soon we would be in our cars, air-conditioning BLASTING, movies, i-Pods, and Nintendo DSs on, snacks and water in hand, and on our way out of this national park. Kind of funny, but incredibly annoying at the time, was that the second Shelton knew we were on our way back to the car, he smiled, and said cheerfully, "Hey! The Grand Canyon ISN'T ugly!" & "I like The Grand Canyon, now!" There were even older couples that admired our cute, darling children, and it all seemed very picturesque and storybook-like. I was semi-dehydrated, so this may have been a hallucination of some sort, but it is what I remember, so I'll go with it. Getting the heck out of the Grand Canyon National Park had never felt so good, but like I said, I had never been there before, so I don't have much to compare it to; however, I seem to remember the Brady Bunch being pretty anxious to get out of there, too! Jared, Casey and I were so relieved at our little adventure being over, that we didn't even mind paying ridiculous prices for food at the McDonald's placed strategically on the way back to the I-40. No, there was no Dollar Menu at THAT McD's. I vowed to never return again, unless of course, my husband was with me, and we were empty-nesters that could secretly laugh at the young parents that brought their kids to a national landmark of such "GRAND" proportions.
