The "Extreme Jenny Makeover" Project

It was Fall of 1996 when I received a letter from Sally-Mom. She does that now and then: sends a letter in her flourishing, cursive handwriting, to convey thoughts and opinions about the child she is most concerned about at the time. At that time,it was Me, the oldest of her six free spirits. The letter rambled on a bit, as she often does, and then ended with a statement that cut me to the core of my being, "Will the real Jennifer Eccles please stand up?"

Ok, I'll admit it: I was lost. Struggling through those awkward "Young Single Adult" years, feeling overwhelmed with choices, consequences, and loneliness. Yuck. At that moment, I knew I had to "find myself" quickly, lest Jennifer Eccles was forever lost. It may sound a bit dramatic, but in all seriousness, I was on the verge of... despair.

Ok, enough reminiscing, on to why this piece of my past has inspired this blog. I came out of a dark place in my life before, by journaling, working with the tools of self-reflection and introspection, and re-adjusting my self-image from its present form, to be what I knew it could be. Should be. It's time to do it again.

I must thank my dear cousin, Kyndra, for inspiring me to blog about my life, despite the fear I have that it is far too depressing to do so. She has pointed out that journaling can have a powerful influence on us as we attempt to write a story that we like. That is my goal: to change things, or "changement". That is the French word for "change".

I spent many years listening to Ballet instructors yell out commands, such as, "changement!" I also yell out this command to my own ballet Students, expecting them to obey, and change their feet from 5th position right, to 5th position left.

So, that is what I am doing to Jennifer Eccles Sowards: commanding her to change into the person she can be. Needs to be. Will be. Just like she did 15 years ago.